Missed This Plane: She Left, I Boarded

I'm running late, I have to make this plane, I know that it's not going to wait, but I'm stuck in this damn baggage claim, A bag full of trust, a suitcase full of love, a laptop full of opportunities, and unfortunately you're one, I hand the flight attendant my ticket, She shake her head in disapproval, I told her, "Don't judge what you couldn't witness", I'm left to my thoughts when I hear random screaming, "Ok, lady I get it! This damn ride is over."

I wonder what was her reasons, than I listened as she painted a picture much needed, "Aboarded this flight trying to ride for life, her ticket said forever?, that couldn't be right, head so far in the clouds, she seen God's light", I listened to her ranting and raving and it was the opposite of mine, I glance at my stub it says "Only one way, no refund, and beware of delays, traveling to a destination I don't know if I belong, I heard about his baggage, now I just became a carry-on, the flight attendent interrupted my mind, and said, " Sorry for the disturbance, (Continue to your seat)

I said, " No judging here, my love life is like this plane during circles in a turbance, My heart never do what my mind tells it to, I'm like a soul sister singing the blues, I heard how he treated, misused her, abused her love, and violated her trust, But someone I can't have make me want them more, but than again if I step into this situation I could be hurt like before, I knew the risks were great, but I have to live with the discussions I made, I don't regret, this is what I wanted, so he is what I get, I hear more yelling, So I move closer to it, I look in her eyes, and see disappointment, I always wondered what betrayal looked like up closer, what am I walking into, this is hell on Earth, I refuse to have my heart dragged throught the  the dirt, I wonder who this girl is, her hurt sound familar, "Im sorry ma'am, I'll escort you and your baggage" off this flight, walking pass eachother our eyes met like love at first sight, I'm blocking the door entering with my bags, she's exiting off not really tryna miss this plane, I'm not sure if I really want to take this ride,

When I got ready to turn around, the Flight Attendent said,

"Yes, she's leaving, and you're boarding, she gave up her ticket, because her love he couldn't afford it, the ride was to bumpy, he couldn't hold on, that was just a little summary of what I was just told, Your thoughts sound similar, By the Way The Stories are about the same boy, The Plane she Chose to Miss, you just boarded on.

Distant Lover

I haven't seen my sister since I graduated in 2010. I would love to visit her in VA for my birthday. That would be absolutely amazing. Hopefully, I can convince my mother to help me pay for my ticket. My heart is really set on this mini vacation, I really long to hug my twin. I hate being away from her that long, WOW it's 2012 the time really flew by before my eyes. This trip is a must happen, or I think I would drown in my sorrows. -Mental Stylista

Saturday Love

Frats and Bow Ties

Friends Lets Chill

I Love the Way you Lie

I love the way you lie right through your teeth,
You said “if my legs were broke, you would pick me up, and walk for me,”
Oh I love the way you lie, you constantly tell me, you love me, but I heard that more than twice, from different men,
Who all claimed to like me more than a friend, but like all relationships they come to an end,
It’s because of the way you lie, Oh I just love it,
You told me you’ll never touch her like you touched “it,”
And you’ll never disrespect me because that’s where home is,
I love the way you lie, saying all men don’t cheat,
Well why am I getting phone calls from females describing your best features to me,
Cause I don’t need a man who forever lies, and always end up making me cry,
See I love the way you lie, because I can’t deal with the truth, for when I stop loving your lies,
I CAN ACTUALLY GET OVER THIS LIE CALLED YOU!

The Youngest Cinderella

I remember my father’s wife driving on the highway,
I wouldn’t dare call her stepmother, unless evil was in front of it,
In the back seat her two daughters and I, with my baby brother
Facing the airbag, I was two then, so the speeding never bothered.

Little cars, big cars, and huge trucks,
It was exciting until one of those eighteen wheelers rode over us,
Our white car was now the size of my show box, everything was upside down,
And I soon heard this siren, than someone picked me up, and I
Finally felt like a Princess, The sharp pains in my petite right leg,
Or that I couldn’t move it went unnoticed.

I woke up with tubes in my arms, and my leg high in the air,
My mother sitting beside me with cards, and big balloons.
My father walks into the room; he stayed with me for a short time, until the cries
And demands of his wife took him from me, again.

I heard my mother yelling about something, a screeching loud
Noise that she only use when she was angry, I was busy
Enjoying the spotlight because I knew when my mother
Left I would soon go back to being ignored, little selfish stepsisters of mine,
I can’t even remember at least one asking, “Sister, are you alright?”

Soon I was home, and I didn’t hear my baby brother cries,
I didn’t have to get his bottle; she didn’t have to wipe his mouth,
When I finally saw him again I had to say goodbye, He was enclosed
In a box like my Cabbage Patch Doll, Timothy, that’s his name, so
Innocent and precious, He no longer had that sweet smell,
Which I knew. When I visit the castle every summer, sometimes I
Still wonder if it was suppose to be me not him that fell out
The car that day, The Youngest Cinderella around, and those
Suspicions worsened as I got older.

I was the one blamed if something went wrong, I never had a
Fairy Godmother to call my own, to sprinkle fairy dust over me,
When I was left, while everyone else had a ball, On
Special holidays I didn’t receive gifts, just a list of things to do,
My father left me in a dungeon when he went to work, guarded by
His mother, I was the only child around, until I was old enough to understand
That being the youngest princess you never stand a chance.

Sometimes Sexy

Found this on Some Website...Don't Own.

This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don’t want to laugh, because you know it’s not going to help, but you don’t want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it’s falling apart too. You don’t think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That’s the confusing part, you don’t know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you’re getting happy again, but you know inside that you’re just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you’re back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can’t help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn’t happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don’t know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you’ve had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you’re to the point where you don’t care who see’s. Because you’ve spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it’s not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, “It will be okay…” But you know it won’t. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You’re still hurt, but you’ve learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don’t hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this…

Sing From Heaven

Rip Etta James Age 73 <3

Style Around Town

There are alot of Fashionable people in the world. They set trends, and are just beyond Fabulous. Here are a few people style I found to be just stunning.

You can Follow Her Blog avantblargh.tumblr.com  

Check out her site http://vintagevandalizm.com

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

Aaliyah would have been celebrating her 33rd birthday today. I can truly say that she inspired me from the swoop bang to the ponytails as a little child. I think my favorite song as a kid was "Are you that Somebody", after getting older and actually realizing what she was singing about "The One I Gave My Heart To" touched my soul as I got my heartbroken, and I would sing my lungs out to her. One of my many goals was to meet her someday, but everytime I run across a picture or hear her song, I know she is making music so lovely in heaven, and smiling that sweet smile. I adored everything about Aaliyah, and I was inspired to be just like her. Now I feel like I can be humble just like her, and live out my dream, create a legacy, just like her!

Happy Birthday Martin Luther King

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. day following his birthday on January 15. Today I have observed and thought about different thing regarding the whole civil rights movement and our generation today. I just feel strongly about what the civil rights activist feel like when they look down on us and see African American's calling eachothers "Nigga". This is the very same word that they fought for, this is the same word that insulted us, and now look how times has changed. I feel bad when I see the way woman are being protrayed, how men are killing eachother over nonsense, and how life is not appreciated. It is like these people died for nothing, because their service to us is being completely ignored. I thank Dr. King for everything he has done for the African American race, and the word itself. Today while watching VH1 Soul this video came on and I couldn't take my eyes from the screen. I never heard anything so beautiful, it really touched my soul. Thank You Dr. King and everyone else who was brave and selfless.

Ci Sing...

I hear alot of people saying that they aren't really a fan of Ciara's singing, but they admire her dance. I am a big supporter of Ciara dance, singing, and fitness wise. I lust for her stomach. I was browsing around youtube listening to people like Brandy, Teyana Taylor, Keke Palmer, sing acapella. I respect artists so much more when I watch video's of them sing, I came across many Ciara video's and was BEYOND impressed! I feel that alot of artists have more potential then their record company let them show example Tiffany Evans Slays.

Naturalista

I have been perm free for two years now, however I been completely natural for 9 months now. I'm seeing progress and I'm enjoying it every step of the way. What inspired me to become natural was the fact that I was away at college and I never trusted anyone in my head, with chemicals. However, Solange is my inspiration, she is becoming such a style icon and naturalista. Youtube is my hair stylist and go to guide for everything in this natural journey of mine. When people tell me I remind them of her I die twice!

Blue Glory

So the buzz around Baby Carter's arrival just got realer.  The real name "Blue Ivy Carter", has a song dedicated to her from her daddy Jay-Z called Glory. The song is beyond touching, what even makes it better is hearing Baby Carter's cry at the end. I am beyond happy for the couple, and it really upsets me that people are exchanging Blue Ivy's name with anything associated with the Devil. God protects Baby's and Fools, so I will pray for you. Every child is innocent, and if this is how society welcomes home a baby, Celeb or not, Beyonce is doing the right thing, about keeping her life secret. It is amazing how no one knew about her miscarriage, because their life is THEIR LIFE. Everyone goes through something wether you are a celebrity or not. I just can't wait to hear what Mama Bey sings about because I know it will be powerful! Check it Out Below

"You're a child of destiny, you're the child of my destiny, you're my child with a child from Destiny's Child, that's a hell of a recipe"

Word on the Tweet

So I'm browsing around twitter and I see alot of Beyonce Tweets... Rumor has it that Beyonce and Jay-Z has welcomed a Baby Girl named Ivy Blue Carter on September 7,2012. Now the suspicions behind the name is unknown but someone tweeted a good point of why the name is maybe that, "Hmmm Beyonce and Jay-Z always up to something... Ivy Blue... IV=4 Blue is the fourth color on the color wheel... Creepy".  Whatever the case may be I am happy that she has a family, at the time that she felt was acceptable in her career...You Better WERK Diva, Hell You Have A Ring On It, What else is there to upgrade when you're number 1?

Spotlight Corner:

I never listened to someone over and over as much as I do this young woman Jasmine Mans. She is truely talented and she inspire me beyond words. It's like I listen to her speak and I analyze her words, I recite her piece in my head, and share it to the word. She is deep, and the things she says is so true. I want to gain knowledge and share it through my poetry like she does, with such elegence and grace. She make me nervous to ever write a poem again, because she is really speaking about things, imporant things, she inspire people like me...I just want to inspire people like me.

I've Loved and I've Lost

While on twitter a follower of mines tweeted, "Why stress over a guy when you could be praising God and being stress free !"

Now I haven't stressed over a dude in months...I loved and I losted.  So, I've been on a road of finding myself, no longer looking for love but letting it come to me. However, I read this tweet and I thought to myself, but God brought us man, and is it possible to not develop feelings for the opposite sex. I mean you have people that can completely go without but inside I know they are longing for comfort just like the next. Same old sad song we all sing. I just wonder how a person could waste time and pretend that they care about you and never really give a damn. Where do the trust go? When do the love arrive? I look to my left and I am completely fine with being in bed with myself. A man is not something you need, but it's someone that you want. It's like you meet this guy, he soup your head up with all these dreams, you believed him because part of the "Getting to Know" stage of relationships is the "helping to get over" which involve him learning all about your past. With this you figure he won't do the same, he's such a fucking charmer. You're working for their heart like it's a 9 to 5 with commission. My overall evaluation of the male species is that they are stubborn. I think they should let us know what they're feeling more often, because they always love you back once you cut them off. Also they don't want you until they see you happy with someone else which pisses me off even more.  I could rant about this subject for hours and hours..It's just a never ending subject in my life.

Because of these Dudes and ....

Well because we were having such an emotional New Years weekend, me and my friends decided to host a girls night. I went to Pizza Hut and got everyone pizza, hotwings, and cinna sticks..Deelish!! Anyway, plans didn't really go as planned, we ended up with male company, and us girls didn't really get to vent. I mean it's no big deal, just more to tell my blog. I enjoyed that night also, we watched movies, laughed, drank a little, which made me sick...But Overall My Friday was Enjoyable.

SN: The weather has been BEYOND amazing.

Catch Up Times

I grew up being the middle child with not much in common with my older sister. So I had my cousin whom is an only child to play with. We were very close, lost time as we got older, reconnected, and now we are getting back on track. She is now an expecting mommy, so Thursday I decided to call her and my bestfriend up and we went to Applebee's to catch up and just bond. I absolutely love the time that we shared.

New Years: 2012 Emotional Entry

Bringing in 2012 will be one to remember. I went out and did hoodrat things with friends (Just Kidding), but I kicked it with my girls. After dealing with many attitudes and not being able to really find out what I wanted to wear, I went out to the club and celebrated with strangers and my bestfriends. I tried a new hairstyle, it was a dare basically because I am natural and I love big curly hair. I base my hairstyles off of my outfits and my outfits off of my hairstyles.These are just a few pictures from the New Years Eve/New Years Night. I met some amazing people that New Years Eve, dancing and laughing, enjoying the luxuary of seeing a new year, with less worries.That weekend was full of drunken tears, breakups, bestfriend fights, hugs, laughs, and forgiveness, The pictures are all over the place but they're still adorable..and Memories for The Night!